Cheyenne Moon

Orthomolecular Therapy Continued

2009-02-08T11:48:00.008-06:00

Today is Feb 8th, and I started this orthomolecular journey on about January 7th. There was the surgery in the middle of it, where I had to stop omega-3 fish oil for about one week. That was a little setback. Then there was the darvocet that sort of threw a monkey wrench in there too. My brain just wants to be normal, without drugs please.

I feel absolutely wonderful now. I think the omega-3's and other anti-inflamatory supplements that I've been taking have helped me recover from my foot surgery. I am able to walk a lot!

Anyway ... following is what I'm taking right now.

In the morning I take:

1 tsp Medomega = 1200mg EPA, 1200mg DHA, 400mg Other Omega-3 Fatty Acids
2 Vitamin D3 1000 I.U.
2 Neuromin = Docosahexaenoic Acid (from algal oil) 200 mg = total 400mg
1 Super DHA = 500mg DHA 100mg EPA 10 I.U. Vit E
1 calcium/mag/d3 = 400 I.U. D3, 1000mg magnesium, 400mg calcium
1 Alpha Lipoic Acid = 100mg Alpha Lipoic Acid, 333 mcg Biotin
1 multi vitamin
2 Grape Seed Extract = Grape Seed Extract 200 mg, Grape Skin Extract 75 mg, Grape Extract 25 mg, Resvida™ Resveratrol 30 mg
1 acidophilus = 4 Billion CFU
1 Juice Plus Orchard Blend
1 prescription deplin
300 mg Equetro mood stabilizer

at bedtime I take:

1 taurine = 500mg taurine
1 magnesium optimizer = 100mg magnesium, 49.5mg potassium, 350mg taurine
1 Alpha Lipoic Acid = 100mg Alpha Lipoic Acid, 333 mcg Biotin
1 Vitamin D3 = 1000 I.U.
2 PharmaGaba = Gamma Amino Butyric Acid (GABA) 200 Milligrams = total 400mg
1 acidophilus = 4 Billion CFU
300 mg Equetro mood stabilizer
.5 mg clonazepam
1 Juice Plus Garden Blend
1 Grape Seed Extract = Grape Seed Extract 100 mg, Grape Skin Extract 37.5 mg, Grape Extract 12.5 mg, Resvida™ Resveratrol 15 mg
1 Alpha Lipoic Acid = 100mg Alpha Lipoic Acid, 333 mcg Biotin

Wanna see some icky pics???

2009-02-06T15:21:00.013-06:00

my left foot

my right foot

Are we having fun yet?

Whine

2009-02-01T12:08:00.006-06:00

Ok this is going to be a whine post. It's been almost one week since my foot surgery. I can't like this anymore!!!! Actually it's not all that bad, well, it's not as bad as the c-section and the hysterectomy I went through. But it's still a pain in the ass. My foot itches. I'm getting fat from sitting around. I'm also getting fat from eating just because I'm bored.

I'm supposed to keep the bandages and wraps on my feet for two weeks. I then go back to the doctor, he removes the stitches, changes the bandages and then I can start driving again, take care of my horses etc. I'm ready. Last night my left foot, (it's the one with the big lump on it in the picture) started really bugging me so I took off all the bandages just to look at it, then wrapped it up again really fast. Wow, I should have taken a picture. I can't believe how much he cut open my foot just for that little lump! The incision is probably at least 4 inches long, maybe longer. I'll have my camera with me when I go to the doc to get the bandages off.

My right foot swells a lot so at night when I'm trying to go to sleep, it just sort of throbs. The bandages are tight because it's so swollen at night. I just want to take all this crap off my feet, I can't wait. Once the bandages are off, then if the foot is swollen at night at least I won't have something tight wrapped around it to make it feel worse!!

Whine...... one more week.

Bron

Lucie

2009-01-29T13:43:00.003-06:00

Here's a cute pic of my bird Lucie riding around on my wheelchair. I really don't HAVE to be in the wheelchair, it's just easier to use it.

After foot surgery

2009-01-29T13:32:00.002-06:00

Here's what my feet look like after surgery.. cute pajamas huh?

Foot Surgery

2009-01-29T13:09:00.009-06:00

That brings up a nice mental picture huh? argh...... I just had foot surgery on January 26th. That also happened to be my 51st birthday. Actually it was a good birthday present because now I won't have to suffer with problem feet anymore hopefully.

I had a ganglion cyst removed from my left foot and a morton's neuroma removed from my right foot.

Here's a pic of my left foot before surgery (the cyst). Isn't it funky looking? It made it very difficult to wear shoes. The neuroma made it difficult to wear shoes and to do any exercise. None of this helps in weight loss efforts, not to mention everyday life.

Bron

Orthomolecular Therapy

2009-01-18T23:27:00.004-06:00

I'm feeling a lot better since I've started taking supplements. Right now, I'm taking taurine, magnesium, potassium, omega-3's (several different ones), grape seed extract, pharmagaba (love this stuff), vitamin D3, multi-vitamin. I've got a few more to add soon, b-complex, calcium citrate with magnesium and d3, and alpha-lineoc-acid, hmmm not sure I spelled that one right.

So far these supplements have taken away my anger. I had so much anger and I could not control it. Now, the anger isn't even there, so I don't have to control it, it's just gone.

I think that I've managed to stop the hypomanic behavior, but now the supps are pulling me down a little, so I need to balance them back up a bit. I tend to have mixed episodes so I'm sure I will need to take a balance of amino-acids.

I'm giving Kylie some supps also, not as many as I'm taking but I'm starting her up slowly and watching her behavior to see how it's going. She has trouble sleeping, she can't fall asleep, and then she can't stay asleep once she's finally fallen asleep. It's sort of like a fight to stay asleep.

So I'm off to bed, all my supps are kicking in. Oh one more thing, I'm having to very slowly wean myself off clonazepam. I used to take 1mg every night to go to sleep. Now I'm taking .75. After one week I'll go to .50, then .25. I hope this approach will work.

Bron

There are so many crazy things going on around me

2009-01-13T18:44:00.004-06:00

I started to say my life is crazy, but really it's not, my life is calm. It's the things going on around me that is out of whack. The people around me are having many problems. My mother, my brother, my sister and my daughter. You can throw my niece in there too, but she's not having as many problems as she used to so for now she can float peacefully.
My brother was just sentenced to prison for a year and a half. Actually 5 months ago he was sentenced to prison for 10 years with 2 years to be served and 8 years probation. He managed to get a lawyer, which my mother is partially paying for, and get himself put into drug court, which is night time drug counseling, where I think you actually sleep there. He was also put into work release. He was a lucky man. Well, he screwed it up. He did things wrong, broke the rules, had personality conflicts with everyone, spent his work time trying to sue the people that stole from him when he was in jail, (his supposed friends stole from him), etc etc. The big thing that really got him thrown out of everything and back in jail was........ wait for it...... he taped a pair of scissors to his leg and took them into drug court, which is again, counseling and where he slept at night. WHY? He had managed to burn his feet somehow, that story is probably not the truth, but anyway he didn't want to deal with the doctors in drug court so he bandaged his feet himself and smuggled the scissors in to cut the tape, dressing whatever. Now tell me people..... does this sound bipolar to you? He's never been diagnosed. Oh the original reason he went to jail in the first place was getting busted for using, selling, doing something with crack cocaine. This is the saddest part of all. He had been clean for 7 years. He had been in NA for 7 years. You know what threw him off the wagon? Hydrocodone that was prescribed to him after he had some teeth pulled. He told my mom much later that he went straight from the hydrocodone right back to crack cocaine, never stopped, never looked back, nothing. Just straight right back to hell on earth.
Now my mother is paying all his bills, has been for 5 months, she is 77 years old, lives on a fixed income, part of which is rent from a rent home that she owns that is just this month becoming vacant, meaning no more rent income for her til it's fixed, carpeted, painted and rented out again. This is all such a mess.
sigh....
but I do have to say, my life is calm, my life is good and I feel good. I attribute it to the omega-3's that I've been taking for the last week or so. They make me calm.

Bron

Klonapin is NOT the answer

2009-01-11T20:55:00.003-06:00

OK..... I posted to the about.com bipolar messages board asking if anyone knew about alternatives to medications for treating bipolar. After taking way too much klonapin one day, I decided that I'm tired of being drugged. I'm tired of feeling stoopid, being dizzy, etc etc. This has been going on for 8 years and self medicating many years before that. I'm just tired of it. I got many answers in the forum and one person named Theo answered me with some pretty specific supplements, amino acids, omega-3's to take. He has been very helpful and informative. I've begun taking the omega-3's and so far it has made quite a difference. My brain feels smoothed out a bit, my anger seems to have lessened, I have better focus and I'm all around holding my head up a little higher since I've begun. I've ordered several more supplements, that will get here on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to starting those and when I start those I expect to be able to stop taking klonapin. I've already stopped the Wellbutrin, which is an anti-depressant.

I will be posting here quite often about my journey away from meds and toward a more orthomolecular approach to treating bipolar.

Bron

My Chia Christmas Tree

2009-01-11T11:18:00.007-06:00

Kylie gave me a Chia Christmas Tree this year for Christmas. Here's the cute video of it.

Klonapin

2009-01-05T10:57:00.004-06:00

Did you know that klonapin is the answer? It's an anti anxiety medication. It's one of the meds I take for bipolar. With life being so hectic and DEMANDING lately, I've gotten a little .... shall we say..... uptight? My pdoc told me to take it during the day when things got tense, but for some reason I resisted this, thinking that I would become addicted, (which I probably will), but anyway I wasn't taking it, I only took it at night. Well.......... yesterday hubby took me out to eat at Applebee's. They have a weight watchers menu btw, so I got to stay on point with my diet. Anyway, after talking with him for a while, telling him all my woes, wishing for some alternative treatment for bipolar, whining, etc., I just decided to take it. I took it right then and there. The rest of the evening was much better. The world became a much better place!

I've already taken klonapin this morning, I waited a little bit too long, because shortly after taking it I made the mistake of walking over to Jackie's house, (my mother) and she gave me the usual "can you do this for me and that for me and that over there for me right now" thing. She makes me angry. Klonapin takes away the anger. I have no business taking care of this woman, and will write a long post about her as soon as I get a chance, but in a nutshell, she was a horrible mom, I grew up with violence, screaming and pure insanity. It's actually what kicked off the bipolar. Listening and witnessing that crap. Yes I'm angry. I'm not fond of her. BUT, she is my mom and I suppose I should take care of her. I'll write more later cuz it's doing my blood pressure no good right now to write about this. So I'll go print off the little things she needs, hand it to her and close the door behind, hoping she will not ask me for anything else today.

Bron

My husband took my mother to the grocery store.

2009-01-02T17:13:00.004-06:00

After a huge argument with my mother yesterday, she finally actually went to the grocery store, was dropped off and was picked up later when finished. To me it seems like such a simple thing, but to her, the thoughts of being left alone at the store, of actually asking someone who works at the grocery store for help, was the equivilant of being abandoned somewhere forever.

Hubby dropped her off, went and got the oil changed in his car, after about 2 1/2 hours he went back to the store, helped her check out, brought her home, and unloaded the groceries for her. She rides around the store in a buggy, so the cart is smaller than a regular cart. She asked someone who worked there to help her unload her food into another cart, and watch it while she finished shopping.

Why was it so difficult to get her to do this????? I don't know. It feels to me as if my feelings don't matter at all. It's all about her. Hey, I'm tired, I've got a whole nother difficult life going on besides taking care of her. Apparently her fears, wants, desires are way more important than my exhaustion and mental health.

This argument of "can't I just drop you off and pick you up" has been going on for more than a year. I don't know what turned the corner for her but I'm glad it finally did. It has gotten to the point that I would almost rather be beaten than take her to Walmart. I don't even want to go to Walmart just for my own family anymore. I associate it with agony.

So for now, I'm gotten one day of relief, I hope there's more to come.

Bron

My mother

2009-01-01T22:51:00.004-06:00

She's just a pain in the a** sometimes. I really need to get some help with her, but she refuses to use any help. I have to learn to just let her be. I need to go back to my counselor to help me deal with her. I never should have let her build onto my house. I wish we could sell this house and let her go her way. But unfortunately I'm stuck with her until her death, or until she goes into a nursing home.

I had a big argument with her today and got all stressed out so I decided to just go shopping alone. I went to Stein Mart with a great coupon, and got a couple of nice shirts and a pair of earrings. Then I went to Ulta and got this really great stuff from the Bare Minerals line of cosmetics. It's a primer type gel to put on under the mineral foundation. It feels so good I want to put it all over my hands and legs.

My husband is great about it all. He has such patience with me. Somedays, all I need is for him to hold my hand and it makes me feel so much better. It's as if his body takes away the stress from my body.

Bron

My daughter

2008-12-31T18:01:00.004-06:00

Kylie just had sinus surgery on Dec. 27th and she also had her tonsils taken out. Her recovery has been really rocky. It's 4 days post surgery now and she is still in SEVERE pain. The pain is mostly coming from the tonsilectomy and the complication of a bad case of thrush in her mouth. I figured out yesterday that it was thrush, tried to get her into the doctor in the early morning, went through voice mail hell with the docs office, found out he's not even there this week, then finally talked to a nurse. I convinced her that it was indeed thrush so we didn't have to take Kylie in, the nurse just called in a prescription for Nystatin liquid. Kylie is still in so much pain that I'm really glad that she didn't have to go anywhere in the car. I got the scrip, the thrush is better today, but she is still in severe pain. We got a third bottle of liquid hydrocodone filled this evening for her, so we are covered over the New Year's Eve and New Year's day when all doctors are closed.

I've been staying up until 2am every night with her so my bipolar is suffering pretty bad from the "off" schedule.

All of this comes after just helping my mom through thyroid surgery on Dec 4th. I've been to 26 doctor appointments since October 1st, 2008. Very few of those were for me. Most were for both mom and Kylie. I'm tired and frustrated.

I don't complain all the time, just had to get my "venting" out and here's is where I wanted to do it. So thank you gentle reader for following along this far.

Bron

New Direction

2008-12-31T17:56:00.001-06:00

Ok I'm taking this blog in a new direction. It originally started as just a weight loss blog, but there is so much more to my life that entertwines with my ability to lose weight and live healthily. (is that a word?) I am bipolar and I just went through a med change. I am married to a great guy. I am a primary caregiver to my 77 year old mother, who I'm not fond of. I have a beautiful 18 year old daughter who has health problems and just went through surgery.

I have interests that I like to talk about but haven't hardly had a chance to even think about lately because of all the caregiving I do for others.

Just lots of things, so Cheyenne Moon Blog is now a real blog. I'm not the best writer but I am a real person in this real life that I'm living so here we go.........

Fat Free Sugar Free Pudding

2008-11-03T11:22:00.005-06:00

This is better known on the Weight Watchers message boards as ff sf pudding.

Last night I was just dying for something sweet to eat. No.... I didn't want any more fruit. I've eaten enough ff sf yogurt with stevia and frozen blueberries to last a while and I WANTED SOMETHING SWEET!!!!

I just happened to have a box of this ff sf instant vanilla pudding stuff so I thought... what the heck, I'll give it a try. In my younger days I would have NEVER tried this. I mixed it up, it was so easy, just pour the pudding powder in a bowl, add milk, whisk by hand for two minutes and voila it's ready! I poured it into my cute little 1/2 cup plastic containers and put them in the fridge. I ate two of them last night and one this morning with breakfast.

Disclaimer........ yes I know that this instant pudding if full of scarey things that I can't pronounce, but at this point in my life, it's better to eat ff sf stuff and keep the weight off/lose more weight than to eat what I really wanted which was a Cadbury milk chocolate with roasted almonds candy bar. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Bron

I went riding today

2008-11-02T00:48:00.013-05:00

That's me on the right. The saddle I borrowed is on Cheyenne. That's Carol on the left, a friend of my friend.

Today hubby and I took the horses over to a friends house to try out her saddle. The saddle I have now for Cheyenne, is a really cheap very uncomfortable saddle. Uncomfortable for both me and Cheyenne. We rode around in my friends saddle for about an hour. It felt great! It's a Tex Tan flex tree saddle with a gel seat. She also has a really great saddle pad.

This is Khemogeyn and hubby with the yucky old saddle I have. It hurts!!

Bron

FF Evaporated Milk

2008-10-27T08:48:00.004-05:00

No, I can't believe that I'm touting this stuff. Who would have thought that I would be drinking fat free evaporated milk in a can? I have to say that it is pretty good in coffee. In my diet travels, I've gone from whole milk in coffee to 1%. That was during my Jenny days. Now that I'm on WW Core, the 1% is not a core food so I had to take it down another notch to fat free milk. Skim milk or fat free milk is just not the best thing in your coffee. I can't give up the coffee, or rather I don't want to give up the coffee so I had to come up with something to make it better. I drink kick butt coffee so I have to have a lot of milk in it. When Weight Watchers said fat free milk, that's what I had to do. So, I have my very strong dark flavored double espresso, fat free milk, and fat free evaporated milk. I'm not ready to give up the sugar yet, but I only use about 1/3 tsp in each mug so I figured that's not too bad. All of the above with Stevia in it instead of sugar is just more than I can handle.

The other day I read about adding non fat dry milk to the coffee to help give it a richer taste and not make it so cold with all the cold milk that you add to it. I bought a box on my last trip to Wal-Mart and sure enough, it helps make it taste richer. You can't add too much to it though because then I gets a little funky.

So... moral to the story, on Weigh Watchers I can still have coffee, and if it's using all core items, except the minute amoung of sugar... then it's ok to drink 2 or 3 mugs of it if I want!

This is just another one of those what makes me happy things.

Bron

Weight Watchers Core Plan makes me happy....

2008-10-21T23:00:00.005-05:00

I just can't say enough good things about it. It's the only "diet" I've ever been on (ps.. it's not really a diet) that I LIKE! I feel good eating this food. It's healthy and full of fiber, it's not junk. I enjoy cooking again. I don't have to count what I eat, unless it's not a core food. I almost never eat non core foods. I don't have to weigh or measure any foods. I only have to eat what's on the core food list. I really like the foods that are on the core food list.

Today I took my mom to the doctor, she's really sick right now. I knew we would be gone for a long time so I packed a lunch. The last time I took her some where we ended up at a restaurant and I ate non core foods. It set me back a little in the weight loss department. I took air popped popcorn with butter flavored cooking spray on it, popcorn salt and garlic powder, a banana and some unsweetened decaf iced tea.

This morning I weighed in and the scales said 152.9. That is a total loss so far of 7.9 lbs. My weight is coming off at a nice clip. Not too fast, not too slow. I'm not all worried and stressed out about losing a certain amount of weight over a certain amount of time. It's not going to cost me more money to stay on this "diet" longer, because it's not a diet anyway. It's a healthy way of eating. I don't ever want to go back to eating all that junk. Nor do I want to eat food from a box again either. I just want to eat fresh, healthy food.

Thanks WW!!

Things that make me happy

2008-10-17T09:23:00.004-05:00

Sitting, watching tv at night with my hubby and thinking..... "I want some popcorn, but I can't have any because I'm on a diet." Then.......... realizing I CAN have popcorn because I'm on Weight Watchers Core Diet.!!!!!

It's got to be air popped but hey.... I'll take it. It's still popcorn.

Bron

The Diet Highway

2008-10-15T12:17:00.006-05:00

I've just been overweight for way too long. My doctor has told me for years to lose weight and exercise. I've been on cholesteral lowering medication for years. I never bothered to change my diet because I thought.... what the heck, I'm on the meds, they will take care of whatever I eat.

About 2 1/2 years ago my mother moved into my house with me and my family. We eventually got an add on apartment built for her so at least there is finally some separation between us all. My hubby is none too fond of her, I have to say I'm not so fond of her myself but that's another life to write about in another place.

My mother is obese. She always has been, at least as long as I've known her. She has been on many diets, lost weight and gained it all back plus some. She told me that the only really successful way that she lost weight was on Jenny Craig. One day while she was still living in our house before her apt was finished, I decided after eating way too much spaghetti and being totally miserable, that I was going to "Call Jenny". We both went over there the next day, or heck it may have been the same day. We both joined. I joined with the Rewards program which means you can pretty much be a life time member if you pay them $39 every year on your anniversary date.

I lost almost 30 lbs on Jenny Craig. I wish I had a picture of me at that weight but for some reason I don't. Maybe I'll find one someday and post it. I was at 143 lbs. I looked really good, was wearing size 10 pants and sometimes I could fit into a size 8!! That hasn't happened since something like 5th grade. My weight loss on Jenny Craig was steady and successful. I think it took about 5 months to complete that loss. Then one day I didn't have enough money to pay the bills, decided it was too much money and I quit. Another reason I quit was because my mom went with me to each Jenny Craig weigh in, the center we went to was about 30 minutes drive from my home in a car with no radio. She drove me nuts in the car. I mean WAAAYYYY too much togetherness. When you are 50 years old you really shouldn't be spending that much time with your mother. So anyway, I quit Jenny. I kept the weight off for a while, I really did learn how to count food groups and calories etc so I was doing pretty good. I was doing aerobics and belly dancing. My feet hurt but I kept doing it anyway.

Well, one day my feet hurt soooo bad that I just stopped everything and went to the podiatrist. I had a neuroma in one foot and a horrible cyst/bump/PAIN on the top of the other foot. I ended up with a cortisone shot in each foot and a pair of $75 orthotics. Then another cortisone shot in one foot two weeks later. Well, you know what happens when you take steroids. Add lots of couch time to that, being in pain with ice packs on your feet as often as possible and what do you get? Weight gain. I was already eating badly again by then so add it all together and within just a few months time I had gained 17 lbs. back. My hubby was none too happy.

Hubby encouraged me to go back to Jenny Craig, so I did. But this time the weight didn't come off very easily. About three days into each week I would lose it and just have to eat something extra. I did actually lose about 5 lbs in about 6 weeks but it cost a lot of money. I started getting really tired too. I remember being really tired the first time on Jenny Craig too. I mean I couldn't get anything done, seemed to have bad ADD. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I got nothing accomplished and just generally felt like crap.

I decided to look at Weight Watchers. I joined WW, read about the two different plans and decided to start the core plan. I realized that I could eat POPCORN!! Popcorn is my drug of choice after caffeine. I was so happy that I could eat popcorn!!! And I could eat beans and ff yogurt and lost of things that make me feel good. My energy immediately came back! I didn't have to count points either!! I just felt so good, could concentrate again and was generally back to my old self. THANK YOU WW!!

The Goal...... Weight Loss and Fitness

2008-10-15T00:48:00.004-05:00

I've set up this blog to post some horrible before pics of me, some current not so bad pics and future HOT pics of me. I'm going to put it all out there for the world and ME to see. I'm partway through a weight loss journey, I've stumbled along the way, but I intend to get to my goal and stay there. Seeing pics really helps.

I'm also going to post some pics of my horses, one of which is Cheyenne Moon, whom this blogged is named after.